--On Facebook, we were talking about Japanese obento versus American style brown bag lunches. I remembered I had promised to show this post to Beijing as we too had been talking about Japanese o-bento not that long ago... so here is one more from the Peony archives
It seems almost like a cliche, but in Japan, I have often felt that my friends really try to express their love-- rather than in words-- through "labors of love." Recently, it was the hand-painted birthday card from Sachiko and the crocheted sponge from Kaori ("it's eco. You don't have to use soap," she said).... or Grandma Kurokawa knocking at my door last week at 7am (!!) to hand me freshly made kusa dango; these labors of love, somehow mean the most. Understated, subtle and full of heart--- all those things which around here are considered the highest ideals. Probably nothing captures this idea as much as obento. And, the bento which mothers prepare for their children can serve as one expression of motherly love.
Here's what the experts say about bento-making:
According to Anne Allison, food is prepared in a presentational style that is determined by a number of codes. One code calls for “smallness, separation, and fragmentation,” another for opposition by means of color, shape, texture and even between the food and its container. Therefore, food should be carefully prepared in bite-size pieces placed neatly within the barriers of the obento box.The foods should oppose each other in that pink is placed with green, smooth surfaces with rough ones, and circular foods in square dishes should rest next to angular foods in round dishes.There is also a code that calls for the stylization of nature.Foods should remain in their natural, raw, state to the highest extent possible.The obento should also be decorated with natural objects such as flowers or maple leaves, and ingredients should be created into “natural” shapes such as animals or flowers.
The rules of style and order are especially important in the preparation of a child’s obento.Although obento have become popular among working women and men, the largest consumers by far are children.It has become a social-norm for mothers to spend up to 45 minutes per obento every morning for each child’s lunch.These so-called “school-bento start when a child is in pre-school and they play a large part in the socialization of both children and mothers.
Nursery schools have established regulations for obento. All children must bring one for lunch and each obento should have the following properties: 1) Food should be prepared in such a way that it is easy to eat.2) Food must be prepared in such a way that it can be eaten with chopsticks or with the fingers.3) Portions should be small.4) Food that a child does not like should be slowly introduced so that the child will not be a fussy eater.5) The obento must be pretty and pleasing to the eye.6) Obento should be as handmade as possible, including the obento bag (obentobukuro) in which the obento is contained. Mothers take extreme care in following the rules because each obento serves as a connection between the home (uchi), and the outside (soto), represented by the school.Maria del Alisal explains that “Bento create an invisible bond between mother and child, and also between the world of the family and the world of the school.”The mother wants her child to be reminded of the home and also hopes that the child will become acclimated to the new soto environment and be accepted into the “in group” of the other students.She can do this best by preparing the most visually, nutritionally, and deliciously pleasing obento as possible. "
The above sums up my own experience of being socialized here in Tochigi as much as anything, I suppose. And, although inevitably I complain about what is, in reality, a huge chore, in truth, I have felt that my weekly bento-making has been one of the greatest *expressions* of my love for Adonis during his yochien years.
Adonis' buddy Shunpei goes to daycare, one of the places in town which are set up for mothers who work fulltime. In spite of the fact that meals are catered at the daycare, mothers have to pack rice. At first glance it makes no sense, as rice is cheap and is far more convenient to make en-masse along with the other food rather than having mothers only pack rice. (It would be like asking mothers to send a slice of bread for kids who are going to eat in the cafeteria.) I asked Shunpei's mother why?? And she said, she hated doing it, but the authorities believe that packing a bento-- even if its just rice-- shows love for their children. So, every morning, she goes through the routine of packing white rice in a bento box and sending it off with her son to daycare in a handmade bento bag.
The preschool bento is traditionally cute. All of my friends dutifully cut nori and arrange their children's bentos to be colorful and have rice or sandwiches shaped like panda bears or poket monster charaters. They pride themselves on this. Yuma's mommy Atsuko, for example, spends up to an hour on her creations. Her creations are so cute, but they are very child-centric. Everything is pre-prepared and just heated in a microwave. All her time goes into the design which is very pleasing to her kids. Adonis, though-- perhaps because he is an only child, dislikes "cute" bento and prefers adult food, so-- per his never-ending demands-- I will make him bento with things like miso and cucumbers, or small pieces of dengaku and always a tiny piece of salmon and an onigiri.
He has a collection of beautiful bento boxes-- all of which he chose himself: For example, he has a beautiful wooden bento box (photo above) we found at a shop in town. It's my favorite. The wood is from the african ash tree and the wood lines are so pretty. It was shaped in Japan. We call it his mame-san (Mr. bean) bento because of its shape. Adonis says his friends at school say its "cool." He also has a basket bento box for sandwich day (photo to the left) and a stainless (above) bento-bako for things with sauces.
At Adonis's preschool, the bento "have" to be wrapped in one of these kerchiefs and sent to school with his cup and chopstick box (placed in a handmade cup bag! (Photo above of blue cup bag) Since I cannot sew, I found a woman in Kyoto to make his cup bags, bento box bag, change of clothes bag, lesson bag and slipper bag-- all of which "had" to be made by hand.
We live in a traditional town and the other mothers also really did take the bento life pretty seriously. When all is said and done, I guess I agree with my dear associate WT who said, "I grew up on PB&J sandwiches stuffed in a brown paper bag with a few carrot sticks. My own kids have fared much better."
It's true. It's a pretty wonderful custom. I can say that, of course, now that it's all behind me
Halelujah. And see for my friend Manako's article in the Japan Times abot her bento-life scanned here!
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